Have you ever been plagued by anxiety about something that is completely irrational? Yup... that is total where I am at today. There is this woman I know who is really rather pathetic.... she suffers from a long term illness and has used that as an excuse to go through life exuding this miserable energy and consistently has a sour puss look on... well, lady, everybody has crap in their space, it is really just a matter of how you deal with it. This woman makes her work place uncomfortable, is generally unpleasant to be around and all-in-all unlikable. Well, the other day, she started in on me about boundaries... granted boundaries are not my strong suit, I really hadn't done anything egregiousness to her! In fact I had done nothing at all to her! So why am I feeling anxiety and remorse over this altercation - which was in fact very one sided and my limited response to her was - "OK...?"
I guess I don't want to disappoint anyone and I would prefer that people like me, but are those really my thoughts and values... no, they are my grandmother's. She is a beautiful person who has set an unattainable grandma standard for my mother to attempt to live up to, but all things equal, she is a chronic people pleaser who tried to mold me into the good girl who was seen and not heard and reinforced that kindness and patience are virtues. Yup... got those lessons what's next?
In reality, I am strong woman who knows what I want and how to attain my goals. I am undeterred and uninterested in other people's drama and approval. I embody that there is no middle ground. You either love me or hate me. If you ask 10 people their opinion on me... the one who says "ehhh... she's fine" has not spent any time with me other than a cordial hello at the deli.
So this witchy poo, who gave me grief over an office copy, clearly subscribes to my love me or hate me motto! But why do I continue to be bothered by this? Because those ingrained values that are not my own are tough to shake, like the bad news boyfriend that is ohhh SOOOO hotttt! You tell yourself to ignore those thoughts and they just scream louder in your head!
Now it is time to employ the tricks of the trade that I chide my clients for forgetting after they have worked with me for years... the basics... a few minutes of meditation works miracles - literally!
With that I close for the night to meditate before I seek slumber, to WP, I wish no ill, she brings all of that on herself; to Grandma, I wish the revelation that all those silly standards shouldn't shape our lives... be and do who you are, not who someone else thinks you should be... and finally release it all!
Love and Light!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Homecoming King/Queen Interview and the Brick Layer
Today I participated in a rather peculiar event. At the high school I went to, homecoming queen is not a popularity or beauty contest but rather an interview based recognition by a panel of alums who grill the candidates one at a time. In a twisted respect it is gratifying, but I'll keep that soap box for another day.
There are 4 candidates for each. The girls were all ok... one had ratty nail polish and said "definitely" 27 times in 10 minutes - yes I counted, however, I may have missed the first few. The second girl could best be described as a hippy, but would never be accused of being a conversationalist. Finally #3 was polished and had a stellar resume. She made eye contact, smiled and provided articulate answers to our various questions. Candidate #4 let her true self shine through, she put on no airs... when we asked what she drew from her prep school education she shared that it wasn't her education that taught her the most important thing in her life, but life itself. She offered to us that all people are intrinsically good and should be treated with respect and kindness, those who do not appear good are really the most needful of kindness. She hoped that she could live up to this lesson for the rest of her life.
How insightful from a 17 year old girl!
The boys were a different animal! They gave one word answers, one showed up in a Hawaiian shirt and one with a lei?... The first one was flippant and his resume stated that his weakness was that he wasn't nice to everyone... I almost actually laughed out loud. The one that really resounded with me was #3. He spoke on the fact that he has learned to learn from his mistakes... amazing... he really should share this with adults, especially those involved in relationships or contemplating new ones. Of course that sent me off thinking about mistakes... is that what they are? Are they divine lessons specially crafted specifically for each of us and do we learn a lesson or are mistakes a life-size experiment supporting operant conditioning? I suppose the actions that we affirmatively take are most generally based on a reason, so does the action proving to be a mistake invalidate the reason or is it all just part of the process?
No matter how we couch mistakes, they each lay a brick in the foundation of who we are. Sometimes the mistake bricks are laid with much more stability and fortitude than the fortunate bricks. How have your bricks been laid; Who laid them; Do you take accountability for the straight ones and those that are off kilter? This is a tremendous reflection item for meditation or prayer. Look inside yourself and see where the bricks came from.
Oh ya... Girl #3 and Boy #2 (who didn't provoke any insightful thought, but was well spoken and brought much to the community at the school and town at large) were the alum selections and they will be honored on Saturday, as will I as the member of the Alumni Council, for community service. - I do a lot in the community, well more than the others at least.
There are 4 candidates for each. The girls were all ok... one had ratty nail polish and said "definitely" 27 times in 10 minutes - yes I counted, however, I may have missed the first few. The second girl could best be described as a hippy, but would never be accused of being a conversationalist. Finally #3 was polished and had a stellar resume. She made eye contact, smiled and provided articulate answers to our various questions. Candidate #4 let her true self shine through, she put on no airs... when we asked what she drew from her prep school education she shared that it wasn't her education that taught her the most important thing in her life, but life itself. She offered to us that all people are intrinsically good and should be treated with respect and kindness, those who do not appear good are really the most needful of kindness. She hoped that she could live up to this lesson for the rest of her life.
How insightful from a 17 year old girl!
The boys were a different animal! They gave one word answers, one showed up in a Hawaiian shirt and one with a lei?... The first one was flippant and his resume stated that his weakness was that he wasn't nice to everyone... I almost actually laughed out loud. The one that really resounded with me was #3. He spoke on the fact that he has learned to learn from his mistakes... amazing... he really should share this with adults, especially those involved in relationships or contemplating new ones. Of course that sent me off thinking about mistakes... is that what they are? Are they divine lessons specially crafted specifically for each of us and do we learn a lesson or are mistakes a life-size experiment supporting operant conditioning? I suppose the actions that we affirmatively take are most generally based on a reason, so does the action proving to be a mistake invalidate the reason or is it all just part of the process?
No matter how we couch mistakes, they each lay a brick in the foundation of who we are. Sometimes the mistake bricks are laid with much more stability and fortitude than the fortunate bricks. How have your bricks been laid; Who laid them; Do you take accountability for the straight ones and those that are off kilter? This is a tremendous reflection item for meditation or prayer. Look inside yourself and see where the bricks came from.
Oh ya... Girl #3 and Boy #2 (who didn't provoke any insightful thought, but was well spoken and brought much to the community at the school and town at large) were the alum selections and they will be honored on Saturday, as will I as the member of the Alumni Council, for community service. - I do a lot in the community, well more than the others at least.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Ties that Ground us... and those that Bind us...
Being grounded is so crucial to healthy balance and success! Some of us are happy to just float through the day clueless and exist like it's Groundhog's Day.... not me Sister! I have two feet firmly on the ground and know where I am going, how I am getting there and what it will look like when I do... Then my day starts and I struggle to keep that grounding some days. Today was one of those days.
I got an early start, accomplished a few things, saw a great client who is making tremendous strides - I gave her a piece of raspberry quartz to use during meditation ... apparently there is significant pull toward grounding today! This shiny little piece of quartz is used to strengthen the root chakra during my clients meditation practice. The root chakra is the source of grounding and stability... mine is cloudy today!
I went on about my morning and kept getting distracted by my feelings... I went from yelling about some guy who ran a stop sign to crying the grocery over the apples because I was looking for coffee to have on hand for my aunt's memorial service this weekend... I know, all over the place. Then my chaotic energy attracted a phone call from a friend. She had a few questions for me about a file that we handled more than 6 years ago and then she proceeded to mention that she ran into an old flame of mine. She gave me the run down on what he is doing now...
This was one of those red friggin hot relationships that are so dangerously emotional that both people are totally consumed. Then it explodes! That was exactly what happened, with a little crazy mixed in. As my friend prattled on about this guy and his house and new wife I realized that this is the drama that I swore off many years ago. I calmly announced to her that I was grateful for her concern and that she thought I might be interested in his life, but really the only thought I had for him was gratitude - he paved my path to stability and success and this really crazy notion of happiness and bliss. Sure he was fun and I had a great time with him when we dated, but nothing was stable or grown up (even though we were in our 30's at the time). Shortly after he and I parted I met my husband. He is even and stable and reliable and comforting... He is home.
After I realized the emotional pull I still experienced surrounding a previous relationship, I called my Spirit Sister Sharon and told her we needed to have a voodoo doll ceremony. I was only joking, but there is merit in severing the ties that bind us to places and feelings that we no longer wish to embody and harbor.
Cherish and honor those ties that ground us and are healthy for our relationships. Eliminate and sever those that don't honor you!
Love and Light!
I got an early start, accomplished a few things, saw a great client who is making tremendous strides - I gave her a piece of raspberry quartz to use during meditation ... apparently there is significant pull toward grounding today! This shiny little piece of quartz is used to strengthen the root chakra during my clients meditation practice. The root chakra is the source of grounding and stability... mine is cloudy today!
I went on about my morning and kept getting distracted by my feelings... I went from yelling about some guy who ran a stop sign to crying the grocery over the apples because I was looking for coffee to have on hand for my aunt's memorial service this weekend... I know, all over the place. Then my chaotic energy attracted a phone call from a friend. She had a few questions for me about a file that we handled more than 6 years ago and then she proceeded to mention that she ran into an old flame of mine. She gave me the run down on what he is doing now...
This was one of those red friggin hot relationships that are so dangerously emotional that both people are totally consumed. Then it explodes! That was exactly what happened, with a little crazy mixed in. As my friend prattled on about this guy and his house and new wife I realized that this is the drama that I swore off many years ago. I calmly announced to her that I was grateful for her concern and that she thought I might be interested in his life, but really the only thought I had for him was gratitude - he paved my path to stability and success and this really crazy notion of happiness and bliss. Sure he was fun and I had a great time with him when we dated, but nothing was stable or grown up (even though we were in our 30's at the time). Shortly after he and I parted I met my husband. He is even and stable and reliable and comforting... He is home.
After I realized the emotional pull I still experienced surrounding a previous relationship, I called my Spirit Sister Sharon and told her we needed to have a voodoo doll ceremony. I was only joking, but there is merit in severing the ties that bind us to places and feelings that we no longer wish to embody and harbor.
Cherish and honor those ties that ground us and are healthy for our relationships. Eliminate and sever those that don't honor you!
Love and Light!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Every morning I set out to really rock the day! Reach my goals and change peoples lives, then I start the coffee and get back to reality... or do I? That really is what I set out to do every day, but the one piece so many of us, including me, miss that in order to reach goals, lofty or small, I have to take care of myself, and maintain alignment, while staying grounded. So let's start there!
Over the next few weeks, I will be introducing a morning a practice and explaining the importance of each element. Knowing why each element is there, helps my clients and myself to decide what to focus on. If there is only time to get 2 in, which ones should I choose?
If you are interested in "reading ahead", there will be a video series available on out website.
www. jalanacoaching.com
We strive to guide you to success and wellness!
Over the next few weeks, I will be introducing a morning a practice and explaining the importance of each element. Knowing why each element is there, helps my clients and myself to decide what to focus on. If there is only time to get 2 in, which ones should I choose?
If you are interested in "reading ahead", there will be a video series available on out website.
www. jalanacoaching.com
We strive to guide you to success and wellness!
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